Literati Scinuance

Omfg

I’m just trying to take a nap after a long stressful day of work.

*parents open door and let sunshine in*

“Are you okay?!”

That’s Depressing…

Actually, sort of glad, that I didn’t even bother going with my Mom today…

She just got home like five hours later okay? That would have been five hours I would have wasted doing nothing and bored everywhere else. I got to watch TV and do some online stuff here at home.

She gets here and like… great ice breaker.

“Is your stomach bothering you? Is that why you’ve been so quiet? I know you’re quiet but your dad was crying earlier today worried about you.”

Uhm. Well. Okay. Thanks for sharing that. Now I just feel like pouring my heart out to you and don’t feel depressed at all! I seriously get tired of people using my crohn’s as an excuse for worrying about me.

I go to work and I come home. When I’m at work, I talk to my customers and a little to my coworkers. If you want to have a conversation with me, then have a conversation with me.

I’m not the type of person who just talks for the hell of it and I just don’t randomly burst out in song to spill my feelings. My dad came in and tried talking to me today. “You feeling alright? Your nose stuffed up too? Your window open?”

My window is open as you can see. You just heard me blow my nose, but my window is opened because it was warm in my room. I’m just trying to relax in bed, I just woke up and I’m watching TV. I feel fine.

Then he left.

That’s all I ever get asked. Period. I’m not the one on xanax for my nerves. My dad is. That really doesn’t factor into anything here though.

My point and case is. If you only ever ask me about my stomach or how I’m feeling… that’s all the conversation you’re going to get, and you’ve raised me for how long now? Oh waiiit… Actually tell me how old I am. I want to hear you say it or even give me my year of birth without pausing or having to actually think about it. Because I know that stuff about you.

If you want to have a conversation. MAKE A CONVERSATION. The last thing I want to be asked is how I feel or if my stomach is okay. When you know I’m in remission. If you can’t make conversation with me without asking the exact same question, I have no qualm about making conversation in return.

You’re my freaking parents. If you want to talk. Then by all means talk to me. I don’t want to hear that you cried over me because I’m quiet? Or you’re worried about me being sick… or to talk to you about how I’m feeling when I’m not sick.

Maybe this is a sick rant, but it isn’t meant to come off that way. It just depresses the heck out of me when this stuff occurs.

Last night, all I wanted to do is get up, practice driving, and go to the DMV to take my driver’s test. What did I actually do today? I pretty much stayed in my room and stayed in my bed.

I mean there are so many other things you could ask me about.

Ask me how school is going? Do you even know I took two months off from school. No. Ask me if I want to practice driving? You didn’t even want me driving in high school. Ask me how work is? Do you even know I was promoted to full time last November and have had two raises AND that I am the leading salesperson in the store right now? Ask me to help you do something. Ask me anything besides how I feel or how my stomach is.

I was perfectly content with not going and driving today, despite my urge to do so greatly. I’m going to be 23 and have had my permit too many times that I can’t remember. Now I am just depressed.

It’s bad enough I pretty much fell asleep sobby, weepy, teary eyed, about romance and just hoping to have a girl in my life the other night. Now I’m confronted about this sort of stuff and have a general depressed feeling.

I haven’t felt or had to deal with anything like this in a while. I’m not letting it get me down, but it is depressing. I’m just glad I work tomorrow. Oh and hey greaaaat. I can’t drive myself. You know why? I only have a permit and I have no car.

When are you ever going to ask if I want to go practice driving or do something in my spare time?

You’ve known me for my lifetime, you would think you could catch on to my simple basic mannerisms.

Look mom I could have drove the car I need need practice. You go ahead and drive though, I’d rather tumblr anyway.

Mom is going to the ER because she’s peeing blood. (praying it is hopefully nothing serious) Dad has a tooth extraction tomorrow.

I most likely won’t have a ride to work with this latest development, because I was relying on them to take me due to my sister having to work earlier.

This feels like the universe sending me a sign to just calloff tomorrow. I haven’t called off once since starting work in April. I just feel bad leaving my coworker there alone for two hours because I know no one else will come in early or on their day off.

Opinions._.

When you have family that own a pool they maintain and let you swim for free, why would you pay to go in a public pool?

I have a new mattress and I’m never sleeping on that one.

It is a new mattress. They just bought it for christ’s sake. I don’t even know why they are sleeping on it in the living room. They have a bed.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Please tell me my parents did not just do what I do not want to think they just did. In the living room. On. an. air. mattress. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Mom you did honestly not just suggest me getting a loan to pay off that other loan. Stay away from my finances.

Parenting

Today there was a grandma, her son, and grandson in the store. They were shopping for an Ipad. The little tyke was not that old. He could not talk, but repeat words in his own little moniker. While his dad and grandma went back to the register to purchase the Ipad, the toddler stayed with me at the Ipad displays. I asked if he liked robots and we played around on Bebot. He cracked up laughing playing with the app with me. Finally the grandma came back up and she started asking about stuff and I started explaining.

The little guy lost interest and walked down the aisle to the register towards his dad. I kept an eye on him as he went, because his grandma clearly wasn’t and neither was his dad. When I looked away, I did not see him and assumed his dad had him behind the register with him. After a few minutes, I started to get worried because I didn’t see the kid and neither of them appeared to have noticed his absence. I causally asked the grandma if that was her grandson with her. She said yeah and then she started looking for him.

I mentioned where he had headed earlier but he was not back there. While his dad started saying his name to try and find him, I started to go up front and head towards the front desk where our cameras are to try and spot him. The other sales associate working with me got on the talkie and radioed everyone to look for him. Just when I was about to reach the front desk, I saw the little guy on the other side of the store playing with a leapfrog display just as another associate spotted him. He held my hand and walked back over to his family with me…

They just left the kid with me, a complete stranger. He willingly came with me when I took him back to his family. Anyone in the store could have taken him. The families reaction? They really weren’t panicked at all. They told him he needed to stay with them. He was just a little toddler who could barely talk yet… I think the parents or family members need to stay with the toddler and not the other way around.

I wanted to blame myself for not keeping a better eye on him. I think I was more worried about that kid than his family was and that scares me. What has today’s society come to?

Pretty sure my mom hit my cat for coughing a hairball and sleeping on her new patio set… he never ran off the porch from people before.

Now you decide to say something? “he can renew one time. oh he needs to start driving, in town, etc. “

I’ve had my permit at least four times for ninety day periods. In those frames of time, I only need two hands to count my time driving or offers to drive.

Now you say something about my driving?

I’ve wanted to drive since I was sixteen, and these are the trials I face.